my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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