I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
