How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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