PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
