doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
