She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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