when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I enjoy the company of your penis
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