You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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