Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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