508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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