Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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