So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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