spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
