I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
