R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
