I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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