Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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