All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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