I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
