my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
