When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
