love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
