How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize