can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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