I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize