You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
