He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
