He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Randomize
