Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
