Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
