my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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