the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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