She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
