the condom got lost in my hair
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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