C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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