Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
