haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
