so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
