I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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