He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
