its not stalking. its research.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
