Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
