Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
