I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
