My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
