I want to make a zoo with you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
