Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my phone needs a breathalizer
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
