chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
