what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
