I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
