I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
