By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
