Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize