Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i think i have two assholes
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
