Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My life is pants optional.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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