It was confusing and full of hummus
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
