i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
