Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
