are you still at the devil's house?
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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