I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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