I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
