All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
