you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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