I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
