I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I understand Curling. That high.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
