I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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