You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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