How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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