there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
